RIP Joe Thornton’s Beard

Joe Thornton’s beard died at the hands of quarantine boredom. It was 5 years old.

It will be survived by Brent Burns’ facial hair and the quarantine beards of countless NHLers.

Joking aside, Jumbo Joe finally sheared his soup saver.

The good news: Thornton looks 15 years younger without the white- and gray-streaked chin mullet.

In the 2015-16 regular season, Thornton first let it grow in. By 2018, his beard became a hockey icon when Nazem Kadri took a chunk as a souvenir.

This isn’t the first time the beard has been chopped down (trimmed down in 2018-19 by Brent Burns, fellow All-Beard team member), but it’s been years since Jumbo Joe’s been clean-shaven.

This is sadder than the potential cancellation of the NHL season and the playoffs.

Thornton’s beard represented the manly old guard of veterans in the NHL squaring up against speedy young superstars night-in and night-out.

It was the last bastion of the old league’s traditions and codes, its toughness and grit, a reminder of what the NHL was like when Jumbo was a rookie himself.

Will he grow it back? Probably.

Will hockey fans mourn its loss until the next iteration? Definitely.

The playoff beard remains a rite of passage in the NHL, but Thornton’s beard transcended the sport. His face blanket helped popularize hockey with many on the West Coast who might not have otherwise noticed the sport.

The six-time All Star will face free agency this offseason if he chooses not to retire. At 40 years old, he faces an uphill climb to make rosters in a rapidly-evolving league.

Maybe shaving his beard is a strategy to earn a contract for the 2020-21 season. A star like Jumbo Joe doesn’t retire during a quarantine-ridden year.

It would be an infinitely horrendous injustice if Thornton’s playing career ended without fanfare due to the suspension of the NHL regular season.

He also still needs to win a Stanley Cup. I don’t care if the next victor signs him for one game in the Stanley Cup Final just to get his name on the hardest trophy to win in professional sports.

He deserves it, and hopefully his beard will be along for the ride.

So for now, I bid adieu to the Beard, the greatest to grace the game and a symbol of veteran toughness in the NHL.

May we meet again in three months when Thornton looks like a Sasquatch again.